Motherhood

The path to motherhood, an amazing and exhilarating journey. A wonderful beginning. A new chapter to a beautiful marriage. Blah blah blah blah yada yada.

What about the downsides? Every website or books wax lyricals abt the amazing blah-blahs of pregnancy. What abt the horrible weight gains? Puffy face? Painful leg cramps! Nauseousness? Water retentions? Backache! Frequent urination? They are just conveniently left out at the start of any reading material, only to surface when you are reaching the end.

Did I mention dreams? Vivid dreams? Erotic dreams? Nightmares!!
When I was in my 2nd trimester, I get lots of erotic dreams. They can be quite frustrating to have when you have no outlet to release. Did I mention sex fly out of the window when one is pregnant? Worried parents to be, no matter how well informed, will refrain from sex. I know it wun hurt the baby... but.. I know baby cant hear us... but.. And when you eventually get aroused enough to abandon all inhibitions and no-nos, you are faced with the damned position contraints. Who say being pregnant is sexy. They only say that to make you feel better. The only part that makes one sexy is being able to finally let ur stomach out in full glory without having to suck them in all the time. In bed or not.

I had a dream last night. Its one of the many awful dreams that screams out my insecurities. I dreamt that M got flowers, not for me, but for someone at work named Ms Lee. Apparently, he is getting a lorry for her to drive as well. Why a lorry? I have no idea. I woke up screaming loudly, and shouted at him to leave me alone when he tried to comfort me. I realised immediately it was just a dream when I opened my eyes, but the hurt n anguish of betrayal in the dream was brought forth into reality. He know I had one of those silly dreams again, and he tries to be funny and tease me, which further irritates me and made me cry.
Anyway, it kinda tickles me now, thinking of him buying another gal a lorry. Hehehe.