Birth of Angie

She was due on 30th Jan but didn't show any signs of coming other than being engaged more than a mth before. Gynae suggested waiting for one more week to see if labour will start naturally or induce by the 1st. If I were to choose the former, he may not be able to attend to me coz he will be out of town during that weekend.
We choose the latter.
After a very tearful farewell to Ning, whom we had to drop off at the inlaws, we went to mac for supper. I still remember that I experienced 2 very painful contraction on the way to the hospital.

1230am - Checked in
0115am - Inserted pill to soften cervix. Strapped to CTG.
0240am - On drip for antibiotic
0540am - Strapped to CTG again.
0600am - Requested for Drip to be removed from left hand because it was inserted too low towards the wrist. Caused a lot of discomfort and pain. Was told that it will be reinserted on the right hand later. Fine.
0730am - VE check. No Dilation still!!! Breakfast time!
0800am - Enema was given.
0830am - Inserted the Drip on my left hand again, but this time on the forearm. Weird place to insert the needle, but no pain there. So no complains! Started Oxytocin.
0845am - given another dose of antibiotics.
0850am - finally was given breakfast with the go ahead from gynae.
1050am - Contractions at 4-5mins apart lasting 35 sec
0100pm - Gynae dropped by and did VE. 1-2cm dilated!!
0115pm - Couldn't deal with the pain any longer (much more painful than expected! Was strapped to the bed n cringing in pain. Was not allowed to walk around to ease it for fear my c sect scar may burst) Tried the laughing gas and it was bullshit. Requested for epidural. Imagine my horror when I was told that it had to be reinserted coz 1st one went into spinal tap! Then again, it wasn't as bad as expected. Just a slight pinch.
0230pm - Contractions 1-2mins apart.
0540pm - 8-9cm dilated!! Yay! Epidural really helps in relaxing the cervix!
0800pm - 10cm dilated! Epidural ran out.
0850pm - Started pushing. Did many many sets till the fore water bag got pushed out. Damn funny sight.. imagine a fist-size bag of water hanging outside the vagina. lol.

Angie was born slightly pass 10pm on the 1st Feb 2012 with the help of forcep.
I did it. The vaginal birth (VBAC) that I wanted so badly. :)

Side note: Angie had to stay for an extra day due to jaundice. Went home with a heavy heart. :(

39 Weeks and 4 Days

...thats how far along I am now.
And little missy is not coming out. Yet.
Getting so frustrated with everything and my patience is wearing thin. Im so heavy, gets breathless easily, my back is killing me and the daily false labour is really getting on my nerves!
Cant wait for her arrival. Urgh! No CNY mood at all.

Oh, daddyhan had gd luck this CNY! Won quite a bit at the casino and during visiting to frd's.

Its back and its haunting me.
I have to really aknowledge that I've already slipped into a mild depression but its just so hard to admit it to everybody. Im so sick of the outburst and cryings.

Please let this be over soon.

We're in!

When for the Parent Volunteer program interview today.

I was so nervous prior to the interview! I was farting n farting the night before and in the morning when I woke up. They just couldn't stop because I was so nervous!

The interview was short and straight to the point. Went into the principle's office and she told me I was selected because she was looking into the help I could offer. I was expecting her to make me recite the core values or ask qns like why I wanna send Ning to them...but nope! It was just like that, she told me what she expects and she signed on a piece of paper that states I am selected to be a parents helper. I was out of the office in 10mins!
2012 is really a good year for us!

The things that I ordered in August/Sept is finally here! Such a long wait!
Even hb was excited and he's been calling up to chase them to dispatch the container all morning! Heehe.

All my purchases!

Even the cats are excited! Look! my snugglebunny cradle swing! Love it!!!

Mickey Vtech lappy and a tub of Lego for Ning, from meimei! She is excited abt getting a gift from meimei soon and understands that she needs to stay with popo & yeye for one day while we are in the hospital, then meimei will give her a present. LOL. Kids are so naive. =p
Check out the cute whale fish tub n lotsa cheap Nuk bottles to last till next year!

My Medela pump, bravado bras and other breastfeeding aids! I even got *gasp* food mill and masher! I am so ready to start my puree business in a few mths time!

The Unhappiness that occurred sometime in Oct still stay fresh in my mind. I have been trying to move on but it comes back to me, again and again when I least expected it.
Anything triggers the memories of it.
I am seriously hoping I am just being emotional due to the pregnancy hormones and I do find it hard to cope because I just can't let go. There will never be a clean closure to it and I can only hope that time will fade the memories and lessen the pain.

Am at 37 wks now and the little one is engaged. Still undecided on names so I guess we'll name her when she is out. I am getting really clumsy now and the huge and heavy stomach is killing me. Cant wait to go into labour soon since I am already considered full term. At the same time, am also hoping I can deliver after CNY, so I get to pig out 1st.

Will be attending a Parents Volunteer interview on the 12th. Really hope there will be a chance for me to serve the sch, as I really wish I can give Missy a good headstart in her education. Keeping my finger crossed.

Joolz Stroller

It was just another baby fair, and one that I'm not particularly interested in. Was supposed to go on Saturday, but because I took my cough meds after lunch, I became drowsy and grouchy! Slept till 6pm with missy and went for a super satisfying and scrumptious dinner at Ichiban Boshi at GWC.
So, we attended the baby fair the next morning, and I insisted that we shld be there when it opens at 11am. I was still unsure what I shld buy, but I managed to get some nursing bras and nursing tops. Then I got a few bibs I've been eyeing for the longest time at a good price too. Walk past the redemption booth, and since it was not crowded, I told daddyhan to go and Q up n see if we are eligible for any freebies or lucky dip(Im that gian peng la). I was glad that we have 2 chances for a lucky dip since we made min. purchase of $30. I went 1st and picked up a tin of milk powder. Next, daddyhan said that his hand grabbed 2 pieces of paper, one thick and one thin. So he let go of the thick one and pull out the thinner piece and it was... the grand prize of the day! A limited edition Joolz stroller, with only 20 sets of it in whole of SEA, worth $2688!

I was shocked when the guys behind the counter congratulated us and immediately, those behind us in the Q let out loud whispers of envy and discontentment. (lol! losers!) I was still reeling in from the shock and was wondering if there is a catch to it! Like.. sign up some insurances packages or buy some useless shit before I can lay my hands on the stroller, but NO!! We won it! Its free n its ours n we will be getting it when it reaches the shore of Singapore in March 2012! Whoopee!
We are getting quite fond of it after watching some videos of it off youtube. Looks like my affinity with the bugaboo bee can only remain as such, and we will be keeping this Joolz instead of selling it as planned.

Jiejie's gift

Had the most ridiculously priced dinner at Sakae sushi last night. It costs the 2 of us a hefty $82 for some oily n yucky fried chicken, and discolored looking sashimi. All because I wanted to dine at a place with a belt, so missy can experience the fun of picking plates off it. Urgh. Bad mistake.
Dropped by Mothercare after that and missy started playing with some baby toys. She is always playing with things that is way below her recommended age grp. Then she picked this and said she wanna buy for meimei.

As usual, I told her to put it back on the shelf but she insisted on getting it and went to bug daddyhan. Daddyhan gave in to her pleas and bought it.
There, jiejie's gift to meimei is settled.

Older and hopefully wiser

There! I am now a glorious 33.
An extremely normal day with no cakes or celebrations of any sort. Lunch was a boring mee siam n dinner was a hasty n unglamorous Mos burger. Had a great time in La Senza n an enjoyable evening watching missy's face lit up at the Mickey Mouse musical. Off to HK in a few days time!

Today marks the start of my 19th weeks, and truth to be told, I'm impatient with the pregnancy already. Can't wait for baby Angie to come out soon, so I can quickly lose this unappealing mass. Started feeling very conscious abt my expanding frame and the clothes that could fit one moment and not the next.

Down with a dreadful flu and a sore throat which developed into a horrible hacking cough. Been so woozy from the meds that I've been taking and slept the entire weekend away.
Felt extremely emotional today and kept feeling very sorry for Missy. Will she be left out and feel unloved when meimei comes along? Will I ever love her as much as before? I'm sure most parents will assure me that my love for both will be equal but I just can't help feeling guilty towards her. Writing abt it now makes my heart twinge with sadness and I can feel the familiar smarting sensation in my nose once more.

On a lighter note, was at Mothercare yesterday and while I was bz checking out some cot, Daddyhan and Missy wandered off to another corner to pick out a toy for meimei. They both look so happy while at it and I hope daddyhan is already over his disappointment.

Kicks

Felt the little one kicking since Tuesday. Wonder if its because she is aware that daddyhan was disappointed with her for being what she is on monday?

Anyway, that unhappy incident didnt stop him from approving my purchases of 2 lovely items for angelyn!

 

Evenflo ExerSaucer Triple Fun - Jungle

Fisher-Price My Little Snugabunny Cradle 'n Swing

 

 

Its gonna take a few mths for the items to arrive and I cant wait already!

Its Angelyn!

So this little munchkin is a girl! Had already decided a girl's name when she was just 5 weeks old... n i think most likely its going to stay.
Angelyn did surprised us by being a gal! All along I felt I could be having a boy as the difference of discomforts and cravings between missy n angie is huge! Daddyhan obviously placed very high hopes that its gg to be a boy and I think he was extremely disappointed when he realised we're having another angel. I already anticipated that he will be disappointed but I didnt expect him to be THAT disappointed. He actually lost his cool with missy twice and was in denial when I confronted him abt it. Really upsets me with his behaviour.
On top of dealing with his disappointment, I had to deal with some insensitive and nonsensical remarks from frds. Instead of geuninely sharing my joy of having a baby girl, they commented that I shld try for a 3rd one or say things with hints of consolation that its not a boy. I felt that they could have watch their usage of words better than to shoot their mouth. I have and always wanted a sister for missy if I were to get pregnant again. I thought it was an open fact but it seems like all my frds do not think so and try to impose their own set of thinking onto me. It really gets on my nerves. If I were to defend back, they may think I am trying to cover up my disappointment with pretended joy. If I dun speak up, I felt damn unjustified. Either way I lose. So there, I ended up here ranting away.

Midway during this entry, daddyhan came home. He said he is over the disappointment and I agreed to put his "bad behaviour" behind us. He had already broke the news to the inlaws, and MIL was very happy. MIL said she already guessed that #2 is a girl. FIL, as usual, said the niceties, but daddyhan said he shld be feeling alittle disappointed.

I dreamt of him having an affair again!!! Gosh! And he admitted that they had been seeing each other 7 times!! Felt so damn hurted and woke up crying my heart out. It was really heart wrenching. Although Im already aware of my surroundings when I woke up, the grief n pain just envelops me whole n I couldn't stop myself from crying. Took up much courage to call daddyhan for the much needed comfort, only to felt very silly after telling him what happened. It was an awkward 15 mins of silence on my side as he consoled me, for I felt really silly. Sweet old him is coming home later to lunch with me and I'm sure, he is going to laugh n tease me endless as usual.

Got back my Oscar results and it's 1:8500. Low risk. No much new updates till the 22nd when I see the gynae again.

Another emo dream! Goodness!! This time we are divorcing and fighting for missy's custody. zzz
Woke up crying again at 650am n gave daddyhan a shock as well. The well seasoned daddy tried to console n asked " nightmares again? this time is what?"
He got ignored. Hehheeh.

Will be visiting another gynae - Dr F tomorrow. So far, I have seen Dr C n Dr O. Have already decided to drop Dr C coz realised he is not so pro vbac. Dr O is good but do not deliver at my choice of hospital. So its btwn Dr F n Dr O now. If I do not get that good vibes from Dr F, then Dr O it shall be!
Realised that for the past 4-5 visits of gynae visiting, daddyhan prob spent 1k or more. Really expensive but Im on the quest for a gynae Im comfortable with. I do not wanna be under the mercy of gynaes anymore.

On a side note, had not been driving for the past 2 mths! Cant stand the smelly leather scent of my car. Pui.

Hormones working up! Dreamt that daddyhan had sex with FIL's maid and is taking her in as a concubine. Was too overwhelmed with the news that I threw myself out of the car window while he was driving.
Woke up in tears.
Gosh!! So period drama!

Anyway, daddyhan was really sweet to wake up super early to buy me carrot cake for breakfast. It was delicious and I finished the whole packet. However, I vomitted out everything shortly after n been feeling queasy ever since. Think it may be a bad day today.. :(

Locking up this blog

I have locked this blog for some time, and will be locking it once more. Im not sure if any of my frds are still reading it, so if you are, do let me know and have your email so I can send you an invitation for VIP access. heehhe.

Its been good for the past few days especially yesterday and today. I actually feel like a normal person! No more stomach churning feelings n no more acidic discomfort!
I guess it must have been the amazing meds(Omeprazole-zenpro20mg) from Dr Ong. They literally took away all the discomfort! MS TOTALLY disappeared! Well, maybe its also partly due to the change of cat litter, coz the pine we were using, has got a strong woody smell which I found it to be slightly offending to my nose. ANYWAY! I AM HAPPY NOW.

May wanna use Dr Ong and change to a new hospital, Mt. E or Mt. A. Don't think I wanna use Dr. Chong anymore. I really think Dr Ong is very sincere, and there seems to be many supporting cases. Just pray for the best.

Past few days been mediocre. Not vomitting around the clock but that unsettling nauseousness is there. Sometimes after food, I will get gastric upset. Realised Im not rejecting milk anymore, so been trying to drink more milk to make the reflux feel better. Works only at times and most of the time, I still rely on the prescribed meds, which I am trying to cut down, so I can well... save it for rainy days.. know its silly, but just forgot to ask gynae for more, and next visit will be a mth later.

Saw the little one in the ultrascan yesterday. Heard the heart beat too! Its in the 150s range and zhuzhu was more excited than me in finding out the gender that she's been asking me for the rate! She congratulated me coz she reckons its gg to be a girl. Hehehe. I can already vision missy playing with her meimei, hugging and kissing her. I think she will make a fine jiejie! :)
Back to the scan, baby is growing healthily n measures 2.26cm at 9weeks, and I can go off the hormone support! Thank GOD! I am gg to ignore that 2 weeks supply of pills that is still sitting on the counter top. No way am I gg to touch it again! I did promise the gynae to finish it up tho, but that was only because I am scare he will give me fresh supply!

Just puked my lunch out. Been controlling myself all day but it was just too much to bear. I knew the culprit is the congee daddyhan bought with the carrot cake this morning! It seems like I cant digest congee very well. Everytime I eat congee, I will get a very acidic feeling in my stomach.
Really hate this vomitting biz and just wish it will end ASAP. urgh.

Wed was a really bad day as well. All the vomitting gave me such a huge headache. I cried myself to sleep that night coz I was feeling too nauseous to eat n stomach was too empty for panadol. The puking n headache really drove me to the edge.

Thursday was rather fine. Had strong craving for fish soup n dao huey. Daddyhan brought me to old airport road to fix my dao huey craves. Great afternn n no vomitting. Not sure if it's partly due to me giving the little one inside me a talk. Told the little one to give me a break becoz I am gg crazy m it's not good fir the 2 of us. Been craving fir beef steak alot n had one at nyny in the evening. Bought a sea band n wore it immediately. It's a pair of wristbands with a single button on each side. It's meant to be worn with the button pressing on a certain pressure point on the inside of the wrist.

Woke up with a blocked nose n cough. Looks like my flu never did fully recovered. Saw the doc n was put on antibiotics this time. Daddy brought us to jalan besar for my fav fish soup!!! I enjoyed it so much that I finished all the meat n the bowl of rice!! Was amazed at my good appetite. Looks like the sea band is really working! Didnt had good appetite for dinner as I was feeling slightly nauseous.

Hope the sea band is really effective n not just a placebo effect. Can kinda smell happy days ahead.

Just when I thought happy days are here to stay, the nausea and vomitting came back! Why!!! Im going crazy! All the negative thinking had already invaded my brain. Im really feeling so miserable. I dunno who I can rant to, coz even I am sick of repeating abt my nauseousness to daddyhan.
Wish I can get better really soon.